Most therapy attempts to "fix" or "rewrite" the past. Hellinger argues this is violence. To acknowledge what is means to say to your father: "You were angry." Not "You should have been loving." The moment you stop fighting reality, the energy trapped in that fight releases.
: This central theory suggests there is a natural hierarchy and a set of "laws" in family systems. When these are violated—such as when a member is excluded—later generations may unconsciously take on that person's fate to restore balance. Most therapy attempts to "fix" or "rewrite" the past
