When they schedule a random device test at 7 AM, answer the door with a silk sleep mask pushed up into your hair, holding a mug of something foamy. Say nothing. Just raise one eyebrow. Let the shame of their early-morning intrusion wash over them. They will apologize. They will feel like the criminal. That’s the graduate move.
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Trigger/content note: this post contains adult themes and references to criminal justice; it avoids explicit sexual content. Let the shame of their early-morning intrusion wash